The Night That Stole Our Home: Remembering January 19th and the Unforgettable Tragedy of Kashmiri Pandits by Anil Bamzai

Remembering the tragic night (Jan 19) that engulfed us in darkness and helplessness and terrified us to our core. I remember very vividly that life was going on as usual that evening with no electricity and a devargeer (lantern) was lighting our living room and we were slowly moving towards retiring for the day. Then the hell broke loose - violent messages and loud noises started coming out of the masjids (mosques). While we were, to certain extent used to living under fear, but this was absolutely different. Words, slogans and speeches coming from mosque loud speakers were clearly sending out a message that time for Kashmiri Pandits was over in the Kashmir Valley and they would soon kill KP males and take KP Women. Even though we did not have a mosque in our close vicinity, but the one that was near the bus adda (bus stop), was spewing venom over the loud speakers and we could hear that from quite a distance. It was very clear that the world and life that we had know was coming down crumbling around us. Can’t describe that fear in words. I was very young then….but, now being a Dad myself, I can see how mothers and fathers would have felt for their children and particularly female folks. All sorts of plans were devised - some decided to hide females if they would come into our mohalla and some decided to poison them. It is often said, that we did not show courage and grit and ran away from valley. But, I for one, have seen the courage of people around me (including my Dad), who were ready to do anything and go to any extent to save our people (particularly females). We had a big water tank in our yard - it was a pretty big one and could fit more than 10 to 15 people. He ordered to get rid of water from the tank and, if something have to happen, ask all female folks from our house hold and our neighbour, who had four girls of my age and older, jump into the tank and hide. While all this was going on, we leant that one of our neighbours had a gun and could be useful if they come into our neighbourhood. Loudspeakers, spewing venom, were only getting louder and sending clear message that Kashmir is no more a “Resh Vaer” and Islamization of Kashmir and its people was happening under our noses. None of the KP adults slept that night and were impatiently waiting for night of agony to come to an end. While, our mohalla remained safe that night, but other places in Kashmir were not that lucky. Soon after KP’s stating fleeing for their lives and my parents decided to send me to Jammu in one of our neighbours Maruti 800 who was sending his family to Jammu. From that day on, the place we knew as home, was not ours anymore and it probably would never be again.

We are always taught to let go of past (and I agree). While we all are the example of our collective resilience and unbroken spirit and how we flourished in India and across the world…..But some things you just can’t forget.